Lost in Her Shadows
by C4rd of Sp4de
Summary: The time of the past, the present, and the future. She didn't follow any of it as it was all lost to her. Ask her about her past, she would stay silent. Ask her about the present, she would just shrug. Ask her about her future, she would only offer a wry smile. She was just lost, far too gone for anyone to help. Can Wonderland show her the light to bring her back? (OC Content)
1. I Dreamed a Dream

_Disclaimer: I do not own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice and its canon characters and ideas.__  
__Claimer: I do own this story, which includes plot and characters never introduced in __Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice_

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**Prologue - I Dreamed a Dream**

_"I dreamed a dream and in that dream,  
I dreamed that I had dreamed a dream,  
Of hope and fairytales come true,  
I dreamed a dream and thought of truth,  
I dreamed a dream of life and love,  
Of fate and angels and God above,  
I dreamed a dream of good wishes and friends,  
I dreamed a dream I dreaded to end,  
But then I woke into my dream,  
I dreamed I woke in a world obscene,  
I dreamed a dream of violence and hate,  
And once again I dreamed of fate,  
I dreamed a dream of terror and fear,  
I dreamed that each word went unheard,  
And so children never spoke a word,  
I dreamed a dream of demons and beasts,  
I dreamed a dream that ended at last,  
I woke in my bed and wondered if,  
I dreamed a dream of dreams or if,  
I dreamed a dream of truth that night,  
And if so I wondered which was truth,  
And which was merely a dream,"_

"Oh isn't poetry wonderful, Ells?" a female spoke with slight of a dreamy sigh in her voice. The talking girl looked no more then eighteen years of age with her short, curly brown hair, almond-shaped green eyes, a fair complexion, and a slender figure at the height of "5'7" or approx. 170 cm. She wore a fitted white dress that went down to her knees with a blue blazer, buttoned to the top to make a deep "V", and a blue-and-gold stripped tie.

"'I dreamed a dream that time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living'," a young girl, presumably "Ellie", quoted with a tired sigh. This girl was quite the opposite of the first, with long, straight black hair, large blue eyes, pale skin, and a tiny figure probably no more than 5 ft. or approx. 152 cm. It was hard to figure an exact height for she was sitting in a white bed with a plain white dress on that seemed a size too large for her small frame. "And since when has my name been 'Ellie'?" the girl asked, finally taking her eyes off the book in her hands to glance at the first girl, if only for a second, before returning to the pages in front of her. "My legal name has always been 'Elena' and I request to be called as such, Amy."

"You're always too formal and uptight," Amy complained, crossing her arms across her chest and pouting. "Besides, that wasn't a line from a poem, it was from that one song in _Les Miserables_."_  
_

"A poem or a song, I see no difference for a song can come from any poem with the right rhythm and pitch and a poem can from the lyrics of any song with the right emphasis on the right words," Elena explained. "Besides, I can relate to those words for I have high hopes that you have brought today's class notes for me to study." Elena snuck a glance at Amy and sighed when she saw the look of sudden realization come to Amy. "Sorry, I meant '_had _high hopes'," she remarked, setting her book down on a white nightstand beside her bed and gesturing towards an empty white stool. Amy sent a thankful nod and smile towards Elena before pulling out the stool and sitting down, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard, metal surface.

"Sorry for not bringing the notes...again," Amy apologized with a sheepish grin and nervous chuckle. Amy's eyes drifted to the book on Elena's nightstand and she had to ask, "You're reading _A Tale of Two Cities _again?"

"It's a classic of Charles Dickens," Elena defended. "The historical backdrop of the story, the way his narrator paces the novel, his use of allusions, parallelism from beginning to end, themes, motifs, the list is never ending," she spoke with the tiniest sigh and smile, causing Amy to smile at her friends enthusiasm.

"Anyway, we're learning about poetry in English class, so I thought I could greet you with a poem of my own," Amy said, clasping her hands together. "How do you think I did?" she asked with a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

"A nice, albeit ironic, message. Nice choice of diction and a good example of your own parallelism. Good job," Elena complimented with a single nod, causing Amy to clap excitedly.

"Yay! I passed one of your tests!" she cheered herself on. Her joyfulness had the corners of Elena's lips tilting upwards in a soft smile.

"Miss Elena, your father is here to see you," a voice called through the white door, forcing the two to stop their celebrating, or Amy's celebrating really. In an instant, Elena's small smile dropped and Amy's face turned to one of indifferent stone.

"Okay, he can come in now if he wants," Elena called back. The white door clicked open and in stepped a man, no older than forty, with a young woman clinging to his arm. The man was tall and lean, with messy brown hair and eyes, wearing a crisp, black suite and tie. The woman was probably around twenty, with long, curly blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing a skimpy red dress and silver stilettos.

"Oh are you alright, Melanie?" the blonde woman asked, causing both Elena and Amy to internally cringe at her squeaky voice. Right away, anyone can tell that she didn't care, granted that she got Elena's name wrong.

"Is there something you need?" Elena asked her father, not bothering to pay attention to the woman.

"Danny, she's ignoring me!" the woman complained to the man, tugging on the man's arm.

"Oh shut up," Amy groaned, throwing a pointed glare at the woman. The woman hissed at her and Amy made to stand, but stopped when she felt Elena's hand on her forearm, tugging her back.

"I am here to tell you that this Saturday there will be a party and that you need to attend this one. A few prosperous families have put out invitations for you to come and meet their sons," the man, "Danny", informed.

"I asked if you_ needed_ something, not _wanted_. A need is something like asking for food, water, money,_ things that you don't have, _" Elena explained, nearly hissing out the last few words.

"You may have asked, but I did not," Danny gritted out, obviously not pleased with the girl's attitude. The two seemed to glare at each other, the silent tension filling the room, before Elena tiredly sighed and flicked a hand in his direction several times.

"Do as you wish, _father_," Elena stretched the word out in a mocking tone. "Just remember that if you go too far, then I have no qualms with bringing you and your precious business empire down," Elena said with an uncharacteristically kind smile sent his way.

"I'll send someone early so you can come by the house to get ready," Danny informed, turning around to leave. He could see the raw determination and will in his daughter's eyes to carry out her promise should he push her too far, and he had no doubts that she had the knowledge of doing so without problems. Amy followed the pair out until she reached the door.

"Goodbye, you fat-calf whore!" Amy screamed into the woman's ear with mock kindness before slamming the door shut on her face and walking back to the stool.

"Now Amy, be careful of your language," Elena lightly scolded, though she couldn't stop the chuckle that rose in her throat.

"Hypocrite, you're laughing to!" Amy called out, lightly slapping Elena's arm. The two suddenly stopped and stared at each other, before falling into a fit of chuckles and giggles. "Anyway," Amy began as soon as they started to calm down, "don't you think that your father is already going too far with this party?" she asked.

"As of right now, he's giving me a choice of who to meet and possibly marry which is lenient enough as it is. I'll just see where he takes this. Besides, now isn't the best time to overthrow him. Perhaps later," Elena shrugged.

"Jeez, I can't decide if you're being too merciful or too cruel," Amy slightly shivered. "On a lighter note, we're studying poetry right now in English class," Amy said, getting them back to their original topic. "And our assignment is to come up with an original poem using at least one of the literary terms we've learned in class. As you have pointed out earlier, I used parallelism." A shrill, beeping noise shot through, causing Amy to groan. "Sorry, that's my mom. She said that she'll text me when she's here to pick me up," she said as she pulled out her phone and glanced at the text. "Yep, I was right," she muttered. "Sorry Ells, I'll stop by tomorrow after school and I'll have the class notes then," she apologized.

"It's okay. Just tell your mother that I send my greetings," Elena waved off with a small smile.

"Will do," Amy called out before exiting out the room. Minutes later, Amy came running into the room, slamming the door open and startling Elena, who was back to reading her book. "Oh, by the way, before I forget," she began breathlessly, bending over to use a few seconds to catch her breath. "Can you please do my French translation homework?" she asked with a hopeful, though sheepish, grin. Elena just blankly stared at the piece of paper that was thrust into her face.

"Che! I knew there was an ulterior motive for you being here," Elena clicked and turned her head away with a face of annoyance.

"I'll buy you five chocolate bars for when you come to school," Amy quickly negotiated.

"Deal," Elena quickly agreed, turning her head back to look at Amy.

_~Time Change - Late Night~_

Elena set the pen and paper on her nightstand before stretching her cramped limbs. She just went through another round of observations, which took several hours, and was ready to fall asleep until she remembered that she needed to do Amy's French homework for tomorrow. Now she was tucking herself into her bed, before the realization of the English poem hit her. Laying still for several seconds, contemplating, Elena gave a a tired shrug before snuggling into the warmth of her bed, deciding to do the poem before class or something. "_I dreamed a dream,_" Elena's mind began, "_that I would wake in a reality of which I dreamed of._"

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**A/N - And there's the prologue! Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it and you get a general idea of the type of people my OCs are. Leave a review of what you thought and/or if there is anything wrong with the chapter. Thanks for reading!**


	2. The Butterfly Dream

_Disclaimer: I do not own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice and its canon characters and ideas.  
__Claimer: I do own this story, which includes plot and characters never introduced in Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice_

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**1st Hour - The Butterfly Dream**

_"I dreamed a dream, that I would wake in a reality that I dreamed of."_

It was already bright and early morning when Elena woke up. She could clearly hear the chirping of the morning birds, the rustling of leaves around, feel a soft, warm breeze flow over her. Opening her eyes, she was in quite a shock to find that she was in the middle of a forest! She slowly moved to stand, carefully watching the scenery around her should something pop up. Looking down at herself when she finally stood, she could see that she was still in her same knee-length, white hospital gown and nothing else really.

"Meep!" a soft squeak caught Elena's attention. She whipped her head around and saw that it was a small, plain white rabbit.

"Hmm..." Elena quietly hummed, as if acknowledging the rabbit's existence, before turning around and walking off. "Wonder where I am?" she asked herself, keeping a surprising calm nature.

"Meep! Meep!" the rabbit called out again, though louder and more urgently. The rabbit quickly hopped around Elena and blocked her pathway by standing firm on its hind legs. Elena stared at the small thing before sighing out in exasperation and annoyance.

"Fine, I will go another way," she conceded, a bit ticked off that the rabbit is trying to block her. Turning to her right, she went onward and ignored the rabbit.

"Meep!" the rabbit cried out again and hopped around to stand in her path. With a sigh of annoyance, Elena knelt down to the rabbit's level and stared at it.

"You know you would be much cuter if you'd let me go my way," she remarked, poking the rabbit a few times in the forehead. She was about to stand and continue on her way until the rabbit shrieked out and turned tail to dash off in the opposite direction. "Hey, wh-" Elena began to call out, slowly standing, until she stopped as she felt an ill chill run through her body. Looking forward, she saw that the rabbit had stopped and was staring at her with shadowed eyes. "What's going on?" she quietly asked, feeling her pulse picking up the pace. Blinking again, she saw that the terrain around her had instantly changed to one of complete darkness, but the land around the rabbit stayed in the same shape as a morning forest. Elena tried to reach out for the rabbit, but completely froze when her hand was halfway out and she had barely taken a step forward. On her arms, Elena could see thick, black smoke begin to coil around her arms and body. The cold smoke chilled her to the bone and she began to feel weak as her heart thumped even louder in her chest.

"_Come little child,_" an eerie, albeit calming, voice from behind spoke to Elena. "_Come set me free. Come play with me._" As strange as it sounds, the voice was lulling Elena to sleep and she found it harder to resist. From far away she could hear the cries of the rabbit, but she could not help herself following the voice and falling asleep.

**(~_~) BREAK TIME (0_0)**

"Elena!" Amy yelled out, successfully shaking her friend back awake.

"Huh?" Elena dazedly hummed out, taking a few seconds to assess her surroundings. "Oh Amy, good morning," she greeted, sitting up and propping herself against the metal headboard.

"Yeah, good morning," Amy grumbled. "Hey are you alright?" she asked in concern, pulling out the stool to sit on.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" Elena asked in confusion.

"Well, your heart rate suddenly went up and I was about to call in a nurse until you woke up. Your heart rate seems to be back to normal now since you woke up," she explained, nodding to the cardiac monitor. Elena glanced at the monitor and slowly nodded, the dream slowly coming back to her.

"I'm alright. I just had a weird dream," she answered vaguely.

"What kind of dream?" Amy inquired, slightly tilting her head to the side.

"Hmm... Perhaps my own version of Zhuangzi's 'Butterfly Dream'," Elena shrugged. Looking at the questioning and confused look on Amy's face, Elena sighed, knowing that she would have to waste time to explain it. "Zhuangzi was a Chinese philosopher from around the 4th Century. The story goes as follows; Once Zhuangzi dreamt he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know he was Zhuangzi. Suddenly he woke up and there he was, solid and unmistakable Zhuangzi. But he didn't know if he was Zhuangzi who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he was Zhuangzi," she explained.

"So the dude felt that the dream was so real he forgot who he really was," Amy surmised.

"More or less," Elena nodded. "By the way, French homework is in the nightstand," Elena paused as Amy reached into the stand and stashed the paper into her bag with a small 'thank you', "And you should get going or you're going to be late for class."

"Well, seeing as how my best friend is sick in bed, I thought it would be best to stay by her side and help her till she is better again!" Amy cheerfully said.

"Then you'll be staying here for months on end and you can explain to your mother why your grades are dropping," Elena scoffed, crossing her arms. "Hurry up and go to school. And make sure to give me yesterday's and today's class notes," she dismissed, pulling out _A Tale of Two Cities _and opening it back up to the page she left off.

"Fine," Amy huffed as she stood, gathering her things. "I'll be back later with your chocolate bars," she called out before exiting. Elena just hummed and waved a hand, already in too the novel to pay any attention.

**(~_~) BREAK TIME (0_0)**

A few hours passed since Amy left and it was already early in the afternoon, yet Elena had not moved from her spot as she was still glued to her. Suddenly, Elena felt a little pressure on her lap and a soft nibbling noise. Lowering her book until her eyes could look over the top, Elena saw that it was a small, plain white rabbit.

"Well hello there," Elena said before returning to her book. Elena felt the rabbit climb up her lap and jump up on top of her book. "May I ask that you get _off _the book please," she impatiently said. The rabbit did jump off the book and onto the floor, but not without taking the book into it's tiny mouth first. It ran to the door in the corner of the room and just waited for Elena. "Am I supposed to chase you for my book now?" she sarcastically asked.

"Meep!" the rabbit squeaked, jumping up and undoing the handle of the door, letting it creak open, before running out the door and into the corridor.

"Hey, don't go out there. Some patients are allergic," Elena called out in a dead tone. With annoyed sigh, Elena shoved the blankets away and stood to follow the rabbit. Elena paused when she saw the lights of the corridor off and no other sound echoed off the walls. "Am I 'Zhuangzi' or am I the butterfly?" she murmured to herself as she walked down the corridor, her bare feet barely making a sound on the tiles.

"Meep!" the rabbit called out to her, setting the book down and picking it back up, as if to get her to hurry up. The rabbit waited for a few seconds longer before taking off further down the hall.

"Don't rush me fuzz-ball," Elena grumbled. The further down the corridor Elena went, the dark it became until she was plunged into complete darkness. Elena had in inclination that she was still in the hospital because the the familiar sound of her foot padding on the tile and the feel of the cold tiles on her soles. However, the feeling began to change into something akin to warm stones as the padding sound became softer. She began to hear the laughter and soft talking of others, smell a certain sweet, fresh, and different scent waft around, and feel a warm, soft breeze dance around.

**(~_~) BREAK TIME (0_0)**

Elena stood in silent amazement as she gazed at the scene in front of her. A multitude of various lights shined through the night sky, illuminating buildings and attractions of different sizes and colors. It was an amusement park and Elena had to admit that it was a rather beautiful park if she were to compare it to other parks. Throngs of people heavily populated the area and she was shocked to see that they had no eyes. The people had no eyes yet seemed to act normally for people who do as far as she was concerned, so maybe having no eyes was the norm. Elena quickly noticed that some people had stopped and began to stare and point at her, so she walked around aimlessly, making sure to keep her head down and have her long hair cover her eyes so as to not garner attention to herself. A lone girl in a large white hospital gown and without shoes was enough to do that, she didn't need extra attention just because she had eyes. After walking around aimlessly for a few minutes, Elena stopped in front of the large Ferris Wheel and tilted her head all the way up to gaze at it.

"This is definitely my 'butterfly dream'," she murmured to herself.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" a male voice called out to her. Elena turned around and saw a tall man walking towards her from the shadows and she raised a brow at the man's strange attires when she saw the way he was dressed once he came out into the light of the Ferris Wheel.

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**A/N - A slow start, but now that Elena has made it to Wonderland it'll will start to pick up. So, who do you think called Elena out? She's in the Amusement Park so you have three likely guesses. ****Leave a review of what you thought and/or if there is anything wrong with the chapter. Thanks for reading!**

******Special thanks to;**

_******Sleeping Moon**_****** - Thanks for the kind review as well as adding this story to your favorites and helping me out through the PMs.**

_******Quiet Harmony-chan -**_****** Thank you for the review and adding this story as a favorite. I do recommend _A Tale of Two Cities _(if you were talking about that)because I think it's a beautiful book. The problem with it is that the story gets tedious to read because Charles Dickens goes into great and sometimes unnecessary details. Also, to answer your question, Elena is in a hospital, though reasons have yet to be revealed.**


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